Picture this scene:

It’s been an exhausting day. You had bills to pay, grouchy children to care for, groceries to pick up, and cleaning to do. You feel like little progress was made despite your efforts.

Nightime hits and you drag your tired body into your bedroom and turn on the lamp.

Instantly, your body, mind, and heart are greeted with peace, comfort, and relaxation. Your clean and pleasant bedroom is glowing with coziness and literally supporting your tired body. You open your dresser drawer, slip into some extra soft cotton pajamas, light your lavender candle, and breathe in the zen.

After washing your face and brushing your teeth, you settle into bed with a good read. You are ready to unwind and melt into a healing sleep.

That’s my kind of heaven right there.

Buuut… confession time. I have always struggled with bedtime. I get mega FOMO and “revenge procrastinate,” which basically means I “delay sleep in response to stress or a lack of free time earlier in the day.”

And so in the past, long after “bedtime” you could find me slumped on the couch, scrolling on my phone, thinking about how much I didn’t want my free time to end. Once it was late enough that I hated myself, I’d finally drag myself to bed.

Can you relate? Are you ready to get out of the vicious bedtime struggle cycle? If so, you’re in for a treat!

I finally found a way to turn bedtime into a beautiful part of the day that I actually look forward to. How did I do it? I turned my bedroom into my own private haven. My very own little sanctuary. And I’m going to share 4 ways that you too can turn your bedroom into a blissful oasis from the stress and chaos of the daily grind.

Are you excited to create some comfort in your very own room? Then keep reading!

4 ways to transform your bedroom into a cozy sanctuary

1. Declutter and keep your room clean

   I make my bed every day. I have found that this is essential for my mental health and overall well-being, ESPECIALLY if the house or day is in chaos. I feel happy every time I see it, and it sends me a constant message that I’m organized and an important priority.

   I would also highly recommend that you banish laundry and kids’ toys from your room. The kids can play in the rest of the house but it’s important, especially for mothers, that this space belongs to you. I created this boundary with my littles by keeping the door closed so they don’t just wander in, explaining to them that they need permission to go into my room, and teaching them about ownership (this is my room, that is your room. I won’t let your sister destroy your room because it’s special to her. I need you to be nice to my room because it’s special to me.) I know it sounds kind of silly, but I’m really a better mom when I have a space that is just for me.

   On the subject of laundry:

   In the past, I always folded laundry in my room because it was convenient. However, I found that piles of laundry would accumulate there and it definitely killed the relaxation vibe. I would often be interrupted by kids while folding clothes and sometimes forget about it until I was ready to dive into bed. It was the biggest bummer ever to find a pile of clothes between me and sleep. I now have a no-laundry folding policy in my bedroom.

   I also took a page out of Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and ruthlessly decluttered my room a few years ago. Periodically I will go through clothes and get rid of anything that doesn’t fit my body or style anymore. Objects in my room have to be really well loved to be in my bedroom, it’s the “most expensive” real estate in the house for decor.

2. Avoid overstimulation and create a relaxing atmosphere instead

   I know this may not be a popular opinion, but I would submit that you keep tech (I’m looking at you, phones & TVs) out of your room. There is so much data supporting why leaving tech outside the bedroom promotes healthy sleep and I’m not going to go into that here. For me, the biggest impact is that my mind relaxes when I’m away from tech. Even the act of seeing my phone stimulates me because I start thinking about all the emails and notifications I should check, or random facts I suddenly feel the urgent need to google.

   I now charge my phone in another room and it has been so healthy for me. I feel so relaxed being cut off from the stream of unending stimulation. When I have a really important late-night question such as why didn’t the eagles carry Frodo and Sam to Mordor, I realize I don’t have my phone and stay out of the rabbit hole.

   As mentioned, decor choice can also be a source of comfort if chosen thoughtfully.

   I used to have a bookshelf right next to my bed. One day, I realized it was STRESSING me out. I love books so much, but seeing all the ones I hadn’t read made me constantly aware of the knowledge I was lacking. My bookshelf now happily lives in our home office.

   If your bookshelf relaxes you, by all means, keep it in your room! Different objects will affect you differently than they affect me. The idea is to take inventory of what is in your room. Is the decor sending you messages of relaxation, self-love, and peace? Or is it telling you all the things you aren’t doing? Sure there are lots of things we all need to do, but generally, the bedroom isn’t the place and bedtime isn’t the time to be dwelling on that.

3. Make your bedroom cute and comfy

   While it shouldn’t be overstimulating, I think your bedroom should be beautiful and comfortable. We all love to be in beautiful spaces.

   Here are some ideas for ways you can accomplish this:

   • Get a comforter. The name says it all. Depending on how hot you sleep, you may not want one for the summer, but it sure is cozy, especially in colder weather. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just make sure it’s comfortable.

   • You could choose a cute light fixture, with warm soft relaxing light

   • Lamps, or candles

   • Earth tone or neutral colors for the furniture or the room

   • You could go all out and Feng Shui your room if you wanted to. I’ve never gone that far but I find the idea intriguing.

   • Add in natural elements, like wood, rock, water, metal

   • Choose relaxing paint colors and avoid designs that keep your eyes darting from place to place

   • Soft area rug

   • Only display relaxing and cherished decor and art. I intentionally only have one photo in my room because I find that faces are very stimulating. I love this all over the rest of my house, but prefer to just have one photo in my room. It’s a picture of me and my husband on our wedding day, because this is OUR place. The only other decor in my room is a large picture of aspens, a round mirror with a wooden frame, linen curtains, a full-length mirror, nightstands two lamps, and a little wooden statue that my sister gave me, and it is an absolute treasure to me.

   • Plants could also be a good option if they get you into the zen mode. Plants personally stress me out because I am an accidental serial plant killer.

   4. Sleep without kids or pets

   I want to first off acknowledge that this is a deeply personal choice. When my siblings and I were kids, my parents let us sleep in their room sometimes when we got scared or sometimes just needed them. And I will always appreciate that sacrifice they made, because. I KNOW it was a sacrifice. YOU get to make the call on this, obviously. You know what is best for you and your children.

   For me, however, my kids are a part of my life almost every waking moment, and having some space while I’m sleeping is essential for me.

   Obviously, this can’t be avoided when you have a newborn, my babes definitely slept in my room at that stage. But now that they are well past that, they sleep in their own room, always. And I live and die by this.

   Night wakings can also be so killer. For this reason, I can not recommend sleep training enough. It is LIFE GIVING for not only parents but children too.

   I know “sleep training” can bring out a lot of big feelings. For this reason, I highly highly recommend the sleep content created by Taking Cara Babies. Even just her free content helped me get my youngest sleeping (after nearly two years of night wakings). I also love The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep by Dr. Harvey Karp. Both resources have very compassionate approaches to sleep training that are very effective. They also teach you the “whys” behind each strategy. I’ve turned to both resources many times as I’ve navigated sleep regressions or struggles with my kids and it is LIFE.

   A word on pets. If you enjoy having your pet in your room, by all means let them sleep in there with you. But if you find that they are often leaving a mess (shedding on your clean clothes, having accidents, or I’ve heard horror stories of dogs puking in beds) or they wake you up, I think it’s time for them to sleep somewhere else. Boundaries matter, even with pets.

Well, there you have it, friend! 4 ways to turn your bedroom into your very own cozy haven. Are you excited to find calm and peace in your room? I hope so! I have applied all of these strategies in my own life and they have helped me immensely. I hope they are super helpful to you too!

Looking for more relaxation and less stress in your life? Check out my rest and recovery checklist!

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