How to Create a Happy & Healthy Relationship with Food Through Eating Rituals
Are you the type of person who looks at the clock at 3 pm and realizes you forgot all about lunch? Do you eat a protein bar in the car for breakfast? Do you find yourself rummaging through the community cupboards at the office for a Cup of Noodles?
Is your relationship status with food “complicated?”
I’ve been there! Sometimes it feels like life is just too short to make time to eat. We have deadlines to meet, a never-ending hill of laundry to fold, home projects to tackle, and the task list goes on and on and on (cue Tao Cruz singing Dynamite).
Unfortunately, we are human which means our bodies need food. So whether you actually want to eat, sooner or later your body will turn into a ravenous wolf and command you to inhale the first edible thing you see - whether it be a banana or a bag of Skittles, and you don’t even like Skittles.
And thus we see a very human predicament of a volatile relationship with food. Not to mention the hurried, unrested, hustle culture that is a part of most people’s lives.
But this isn’t how it should be! Food is a beautiful thing, one of the best parts about having a mouth! What do you say we mend the human/food dynamic? How about we stop beating ourselves up for eating it, start being thankful for and enjoying it, and use it not just as fuel, but as enjoyment, culture, renewal, and a source of literal strength?
Sound nice but unattainable? I’m here to show you how you can achieve it! I have a strategy for you to rekindle a happy & healthy relationship with food, eat less without depriving yourself, think more clearly, and improve your sense of well-being. No more running around shoveling food in your mouth between errands.
The Ritual Concept
Does the word “ritual” make you think of the opening scene from the Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes movie? Okay yes, human sacrifice could technically be a ritual, but a creepy messed up one. Definitely not what we are talking about here.
I like this definition by Koya Webb, “a ritual is a set of sequenced activities or actions with a symbolic purpose. Like traditions, rituals can be relevant in diverse areas of our lives, ranging from how we wake to how we work to how we rest.”
When applied to the otherwise “mundane” and “every day,” rituals make life rich. They can turn the ordinary into a pleasant pearl on the strand that is called life.
Rituals are an essential part of what it means to be human. They are the way we make certain activities more special and/or habitual. For example, we mark big events with rituals. When a student graduates from college in the United States, we wear funny square hats and gowns and attend a ceremony where that accomplishment is celebrated.
Likewise, we can also mark small events with rituals. This can serve the purpose of making these ordinary events more pleasant, meaningful, and even habitual.
For example, to optimize sleep, we might have a bedtime ritual where we routinely take a bath, slip into comfy pajamas, and settle down with a cozy novel before falling asleep. This helps us decompress from our day, sleep better, and frankly for night owls like myself, it helps bedtime actually sound enticing.
Eating Rituals
Surprise, surprise, eating is another aspect of every day that can be life-enhancing, renewing, and simply more fun when ritualized.
For example, family dinners are a ritual. Family dinners can transform a mindless activity of putting food into our mouths into a time of rest and connection with loved ones. We’ve been told forever that eating together is one of the single most impactful things we can do as a family unit. To quote Stanford Children’s Health, “…. the more often children eat dinner with their parents, the less likely they are to smoke, drink, or use illicit drugs.”
Now if that’s not a high-return activity (eating food + with kids = kids significantly less likely to smoke or do drugs) then I don’t know what is.
So here’s the deal. With technological advances, our lives are moving at an ever-increasing pace. We can get more done in less time, and are often given more to do as a consequence. The conveyer belt keeps picking up speed.
So what can we do to preserve time for an activity (eating) that isn’t tied to a metric and that won’t help us get on top of the cleaning and chores to be done?
Why Meal Rituals Merit Your Time
While it won’t directly grant a work promotion, earn you more money, or clean your house, making a ritual out of mealtime can consistently provide a physical and psychological anchor that can lead to success, accomplishment, and just plain enjoyment.
Deliberate meal times can refresh you and sharpen your mental and physical saw so that your next stint of work, parenting, or just existing can be more productive and enjoyable.
Rebecca J. Lester, PHD, said in Psychology Today, “One of the most important features of rituals is that they do not only mark time; they create time. By defining beginnings and ends… rituals structure our social worlds and how we understand time, relationships, and change.” Breakfast marks the morning. Lunch marks the climax of the day. Dinner marks the wind-down.
Ritualizing meals can also help you attain and maintain a healthy weight.
A sit-down meal encourages mindful eating, a crucial component of healthy living. Often times we overeat without even realizing it because we eat so fast that our brains don’t have time to get the signal from our gut that we are full.
By slowing down and tasting our food, we will give our bodies time to enjoy and let us know when we are satisfied. In this way, we can reduce caloric intake without depriving ourselves one bit!
And by avoiding stuffing our stomachs too much, we can avoid the food coma which makes us want to take an afternoon nap rather than bust out another 4 hours at our desks.
And so, without further ado, here is how you can actually create an eating ritual for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in your real, busy, everyday life.
How to Create an Eating Ritual:
Breakfast: The Opening Act
Have you ever randomly found an obscure book at your local library and it becomes your FAVORITE? I have! The said book is SO darling and is called, “At Home with Madame Chic: Becoming a Connoisseur of Daily Life,” by Jennifer L. Scott. In it, she says:
“I like to think of breakfast as the opening act of the play that is our day…. breakfast should ideally be organized the night before. This includes deciding what to eat as well as setting the table… Breakfast is the opening act of the play. It’s when you really get into the flow of the day. It should be as rapturous as a Tuesday morning will allow.”
Try to make breakfast as calm an experience as possible. It has the power to set the color through which you will see your whole day.
If you find yourself scarfing something down on the way to work or when the kids are finally settled, consider getting up earlier to give yourself a little jump start so that you can start the day from a place of peace, not overwhelm.
Always try to eat mindfully and while sitting down. You can make breakfast as simple (think smoothies), or elaborate as your desire and circumstances allow. Keep in mind that simple carbs and sugars are delish (pancakes, French toast, etc.) but will spike your blood sugar and then crash it, leaving you quite tired and possibly cranky. So if you will need to perform at work or school, keep in mind that you probably aren’t going to be feeling super sharp in the next 30 minutes on simple carbs.
Prioritize fiber, healthy fats, and protein for optimal mental clearness and energy.
Lunch: the Intermission
Regarding lunch, At Home with Madame Chic says:
“Lunch has a different energy… while breakfast feels nourishing and like the opening act of the play, lunch feels like the intermission. It should be fun - a welcome respite.”
Lunch is the moment when we pat ourselves on the back for getting to this point in the day, and fuel the remaining hours left of work, play, or chores. This should be a time to recharge those batteries, the day isn’t done yet!
If you will be at the office, pack a lunch or plan where you will go to eat. Use it as a time to connect with others or simply check in with yourself.
If you are at home, keep some foods on hand that can be easily assembled for lunch so that you don’t always have to rely on leftovers. Salad kits and/or fresh lean deli meats can be a good option, along with whole grains, wraps, fresh romaine lettuce, tomatoes, etc.
A note about going out to eat - try to avoid going crazy here. If you’re going out once in a while, no problem. If it’s every day I’m concerned.
Generally, foods in a restaurant are higher in calories and less nourishing than foods assembled by you. This is because the restaurants need to incentivize you to come back to buy more food so there is typically a lot more butter, salt, and sugar in restaurant foods than foods you would put together yourself. Portions tend to also be a lot bigger. Plus you’re more likely to indulge in sides and a drink because the combo was a good deal.
Obviously healthy restaurants exist and so do really unhealthy home-cooked meals, so use common sense. If you are someone who often relies on fast food for lunch, consider having foods on hand that you find appealing and that you can assemble yourself which will keep you out of the fast food line (i.e. sandwich, Crackers, cheese, jerky, etc.). These foods might not be necessarily categorized as “healthy,” but if they keep you away from a Big Mac you will be a lot better off.
Eat until satisfied, but not full. Ideally, you should feel like you could take a walk after eating. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a coma and be so sad that you have to keep going for another few hours.
Get some awesome tips from Precision Nutrition on how to actually understand your hunger and fullness cues here.
Dinner: The Grand Finale
“Dinner is the grand finale.” (At Home with Madame Chic)
Dinner should be a time you can look forward to. Look, I’m a realist and a mom with two little children who throw their food and tell me what I made is gross so I know it might not be your favorite thing every day, but making it a priority is a great way to create a positive home environment.
As was mentioned, family dinners are a beautiful way to ritualize dinner. Do what fits your family schedule & vibe. Be realistic. You can keep it super casual and just eat food and talk about whatever organically comes up. You can ask each family member to share the high and low moments of their day. You can ask a philosophical question or riddle. Be creative. Or don’t. If you don’t live with family, you can do this with friends or use it as a moment to check in and reflect on your day.
If possible, set a nice atmosphere - soft music, maybe a candle, tablecloth, placemats perhaps, Set the table. Clearing the table beforehand is a must. I promise the experience will be so much nicer.
You can make the table pretty daily, or save that for Sundays/another day of the week. Or of course, you can keep it casual too.
Consider investing in some nicer dinnerware. Target can get the job done. I find the Hearth and Home and Threshold/Studio McGhee tableware collections lovely.
Ban phones from the table & turn off the television - unless there is something you are deliberately planning to watch as a family during dinner.
Meal planning is also key to a pleasant dinner. I know, figuring out what to eat can be the worst activity of all time. If you need help with meal planning, check out my blog post here. I outlined my whole process to make it easier for you!
Well there you have it - some fun strategies for mending your relationship with food, generally having more fun & joy in your daily life, transforming ordinary moments into sacred times of renewal, and connecting with others! I hope you’re excited as I am to find creative ways to engage with your food!
Looking for some healthy meals to enjoy during your eating rituals? Snag my list of 55 healthy meals and snacks, totally free!
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