Lessons from my 3 Biggest Moments in 2022 and What I’m Planning in 2023
New year, new start, new beginnings. It’s glorious, isn’t it? Technically it’s not like much changes between December 31st to January 1st, but doesn’t it just feel minty fresh?
Sometimes I get so antsy to jump into the new year and “new me,” that I forget to chip out time to reflect on what I’ve actually learned. Can you relate?
John Maxwell said, “Experience is not the best teacher; evaluated experience is the best teacher. Reflective thinking is needed to turn experience into insight. We draw lessons from the past only when we study it.” Boom.
And so, with that in mind, here is a summary of 3 key experiences from 2022 and some of the hard-fought lessons I learned. I hope that by sharing, I can help you avoid some of my mistakes and consider implementing strategies that worked well for me (if they are relevant to your life). I’ll also show you what I am planning for 2023.
Cheers to intentionality. Ready to dive in?
2022 Recap
January 2022- Turned Real Life Fitness into an official LLC
While I’ve had clients for years, I didn’t create an actual LLC until January 2022. This work is such a positive outlet in my life as a mom who is home with littles all day.
Creating content to help answer your questions and watching clients’ lives and health improve has been so rewarding. It literally lights my heart on fire.
I have also made so. many. mistakes. But because of those mistakes, I have learned so much.
Lessons Learned
Creative outlets are so important. I think humans are meant to create. Also, as a mom, it can be really helpful to participate in activities that don’t center on kids.
I’ve also made a lot of mistakes as I’ve learned about business, entrepreneurship, building websites, working through apps, meeting unique client needs, and balancing work and my 1,000 other responsibilities. The beauty is that through mistakes, growth is accelerated. I definitely experience that daily.
I’ve also learned the importance of just starting, and “done” is better than perfect. As Aristotle said, “What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing.” That’s been so true for me.
April 2022 - Moved cross country from Utah to Virginia
In January, my husband Brenden and I made the bold and terrifying move to pack up our two children in Utah and move across the country to Virginia, where we had no family or connections.
Why the move? After the housing market went nuts in 2021, we realized we could not responsibly afford a home in Utah anytime soon. We also had some best friends in the same boat. We said to our friends, “hey what if we did something crazy and moved out of state so we could actually afford a house and start building wealth?” and they were like, “no way we were gonna suggest the same thing!” So we did some research on states and cities with job opportunities, good cost of living, and a great outdoor scene. We prayed A LOT and settled on heading to Virginia.
Within about six weeks of looking, Brenden got an awesome job opportunity and our friends followed right behind.
We bought a fixer-upper that I love so much, complete with a creek in the backyard, and so much foliage and forest. Downside = ticks and huge bugs. But it turns out Lyme’s disease is actually very treatable lol. While we definitely miss our family and friends back home, this adventure has been so good for our little family unit.
Brenden and I have grown as a couple and we are learning so much about home ownership, independence, making new friends, finding community, serving and being served, and it has been such a blessing.
Lessons Learned
Leaving our family was a HIGH cost. It still is. Brenden and I are both very close to our families and we miss them all the time. However, In many ways, I feel closer to family than ever emotionally. We facetime all the time, and it has been so fun to host them here and share our adventures with them. Sometimes my four-year-old literally just hangs out with cousins and grandparents on facetime and has a great time.
We also learned a lot about how raises work. Before Brenden looked for jobs in Virginia, he was going to qualify for a 3% raise at the end of the year, which is basically a raise that allows you to keep up with inflation (it wouldn’t have even done that since inflation rose so high in 2022).
Brenden really excelled in his work and his boss was very happy with his performance. Still, 3% was the raise he was going to be given, and I think that’s pretty common.
However, when Brenden found a job in Virginia, he was offered a 17.6% raise. The original company he was at matched it. He still took the job in Virginia because we were headed there for the housing market but we were floored that a 3% raise could jump to a 17.5% raise at the threat of leaving.
It would have taken him years to get to that equivalent (especially while inflation was happening simultaneously) at his last company. Now, I’m not saying everyone should willy-nilly job hop, but if you’re getting the equivalent of an inflation raise each year and you know you are performing well, you might want to consider creating some urgency for your company to value you more, or consider looking elsewhere for employment.
Obviously, there are more factors to consider than just money, but with two kids and a desire to get into a house, finances were super important to us.
We’ve also learned that the world is so big and has so much to offer. I knew nothing about Virginia before we moved here and I feel like we hit the absolute jackpot. The area where we live is green, forested, and just like nowhere I’ve ever been. The people are generally kind and have that charming southern hospitality. I’m in love and so glad we took the leap to experience something totally different. It has been such an adventure.
Between the time when we decided to move and when we found a house, we were in transition constantly. That was really hard. We Airbnb hopped for about 6 weeks and during that time my 4-year-old ended up in the ER. Long story for another day. Before we moved, it felt like we were in a constant state of packing, making intense decisions, cleaning, and saying tearful goodbyes. Then we lived out of a suitcase for 6 weeks with only one car (and Brenden had to use it to commute), and it was just so transitory.
Being in transition mode was such a pain, but also a lot of fun. Next time I’m in a transition, I would tell myself to pick a few nonnegotiable things to do each day (exercise, showering, etc.) and then be flexible about everything else and try to enjoy the ride as much as I can.
December 2022 - I have a major meltdown
This year, my kids have been sick so often. Additionally, Brenden started traveling for his new job. I was on my own with sick kids several times for long stretches, and I have gained SO MUCH RESPECT for the single mamas out there.
In November of 2022, we went on a vacation to Utah to visit family. The morning after we got home, Brenden was asked to travel for almost two weeks straight. The kids were sick, and I caught the virus myself. I was PUSHED to my breaking point. When Brenden returned, I was an absolute puddle on the floor. I was so exhausted in every dimension and felt absolutely broken and burned out.
Lessons Learned
I learned that in order to care for my kids, I absolutely must care for myself as if I was one of the kids. I need to eat usually at the same intervals that they do, I need exercise, I need time outside, I need rest, I need play, I need quiet time.
The next day after the meltdown, I literally used this rest and recovery sheet I created to start getting some energy back. I did some yoga in the morning, read scriptures, went on a bike ride, stopped at Target, and ended the day at Barnes and Noble where I treated myself to hot chocolate, a muffin, and journaled to try to make sense of my feelings. It was very rejuvenating.
I now make it a daily practice to:
Make my bed every day
Record 10 things I am grateful for
Read from the scriptures and other uplifting literature daily (sometimes for literally like 5 minutes)
Move my body for at least 20 minutes each day
Shower and actually get ready for the day- the last 30 seconds I turn the water COLD and focus on deep breathing (this has helped me learn to manage stress so much)
10-minute guided mediations (there are lots of free options on YouTube)
How I’m Planning to Show up in 2023
1) Taking Care of Myself
As I mentioned, I really had a “come to Jesus moment” where I’ve been truly converted to self-care.
Besides following my daily practice listed above, here are the other ways I am planning on caring for myself.
Exercise consisting of 2-3 weight sessions and 3-4 days of cardio.
Planning activities I can look forward to, like more evenings at Barnes and Noble and girl’s nights (women NEEED WOMEN).
Waking up before my kids so that I get some alone time in the mornings. My baby has had trouble sleeping for almost two years which has made this incredibly difficult. I finally couldn’t stand it any longer and dove headfirst into Taking Cara Babies content and baby girl is finally having breakthroughs and starting to soothe herself back to sleep.
2. Prioritizing Time Over Money
I have learned that time is more important to me than money. And often by buying back time (through online courses, occasional babysitter, etc.) I end up being able to make more money. A caveat, I will NEVER go into debt to “buy back time” or put myself or my family in a bad financial situation. But where expendable income is concerned, buying time back is a huge priority this year.
As soon as I am able, my biggest financial priorities are to get time back by hiring a house cleaner once or twice a month, giving my assistant more work hours, and hiring someone to do some of the fixing up of our darling fixer-upper home.
What do I plan to do with those hours I get back? Spend more intentional time with my children and husband, create more content, and help more people.
3) Creating and Sticking to Systems & Processes
All in all, I can say I have done all I humanly can to produce and achieve this year, and I honestly can say I have given it all I’ve got. I’ve made so many mistakes. And while I’ve worked extremely hard, I haven’t always worked very smart.
To fix that for 2023, I will focus on creating smarter systems and processes which include:
Creating and keeping a content creation schedule
Batch-working
Working in intervals of short bouts of deep focus with rests in between
Using my meal planning and budgeting system religiously
Housework has been hairy. I keep the house clean for the most part, but deep cleaning is a STRUGGLE. There are just so many other things I want to do besides deep clean the bathroom, you know? Maybe this sounds sad, but I am focusing on one room A WEEK. That doesn’t mean I won’t do the essentials throughout the house, but ONE ROOM, just ONE is getting DEEP cleaned - a real good scrub, each week.
Marie Kondo-ing my house
Taking more courses to help me streamline my business and life. Currently, I am taking a course from Nora Conrad called Mastering Chaos and it has been great! Online courses are my love language. I have learned so much from them.
4. Creating More Experiences with My Family
Beautiful moments happen amid the chaos of every day, but also intentional, planned activities almost always bring out so much fun and just JOY for me. This year I want to make a focused effort to plan really fun dates with Brenden, outings with the kids (as a family and one-on-one), family vacations, and simple at-home activities.
I also want to get to know our community better, check out the hole-in-the-wall restaurants, and learn the history of our historical Civil War city. If finances allow, Brenden and I plan to buy a beat-up old camper, fix it up (because apparently, we hate ourselves) and travel around the eastern and southern USA.
Well, there you have it! I’ve given you the lessons learned from some big moments I experienced in 2022 and 4 ways I’m planning to show up in 2023. I hope these help you step around all my mistakes and give you some ideas for your 2023. Here’s to a great year!
